Behaviour

The nostalgic urge to recreate the past within the present is, in many ways, a driving force for behavior -- how frequently we marry spouses with characteristics reminiscent of those of our parents. As other examples, we may adopt the political affiliations and prejudices of our forebears, become democrats, republicans, or even racists because our parents were.

Similarly, the nostalgic urge to recreate the past explains why so many abused children marry abusive spouses, and children of alcoholics marry alcoholic spouses -- not because their childhood was happy, but rather because they seek to recreate their idealized sanitized memories of their childhood by identifying with symbolic manifestations of the past which they find in their alcoholic or abusive spouses.

Through daily behavior, the nostalgic urges may also be partially gratified -- food choices for example (hence the passing down from generation to generation of family recipes) -- with an actual primitive incorporation into the self of the nostalgic object.

While nostalgia in reasonable doses can provide a sense of comfort for stressed-out adults, too much can have a negative effect. It is very common to believe that an earlier decade was preferable to present day conditions, but that viewpoint can be misleading. People who grew up in the 1950s may remember hula hoops, Elvis Presley and penny candies, but they usually don't indulge memories of McCarthyism, repressive roles for women and a lack of racial equality. Every decade has its positive and negative aspects, so an unrealistic sense of nostalgia may create an unhealthy distortion of reality. Some people can get caught up in feelings about a more ideal past that make their current lives seem mundane or unfulfilling by comparison.

Painful feelings of nostalgia can often be addressed by acquiring a beloved item or planning a visit to a childhood hometown. It may hurt more when combined with feelings of hopelessness or helplessness. The power of knowing you can revisit parts of your past can help to lessen the effects of homesickness or nostalgia. It is important to remember, however, that these feelings are normal and healthy, but making a conscious effort to live in the past may not be. If a healthy sense of nostalgia seems to be turning into an unhealthy depression, you should seek professional counseling to regain a proper balance.

People feel more nostalgic during the holidays because many memories are reawakened and relationships renewed. During the holidays, families and friends get together to celebrate and reconnect; they get caught up on one another’s lives, reminisce and browse through old photographs. Even from afar, friends and relatives get back in touch, with phone calls, letters, greeting cards and posts on social networking sites. Like anniversaries and other temporal landmarks, holidays remind us of special times and help us keep track of what has changed and what has remained the same in our lives — and in ourselves. For many, holidays bring back memories of simpler times along with the sense of the security of childhood or the carefree feelings of being young, with fewer of the worries and stress that accompany responsibilities. Most often, holidays remind us of people who have played important roles in our lives and the activities we shared with them. This is one reason why people who are away from home are especially likely to feel nostalgic during the holidays and why so many people travel to be with family and friends.